“You are too much in your masculine,” say coaches.

“Yep, I am too much in my masculine,” many women agree.

And just like that, we’re back at the starting point: women need to be fixed (again!)

No!

Women don’t need to be fixed. Patriarchy does.

Yes, many women recognise themselves in patterns such as:

• doing, executing, pushing forward

• feeling constant pressure

• over-indexing logic and structure

• being perpetually “on”

• suppressing rest, emotions, and intuition

And yes, many are now feeling the impact of this on their bodies, their health, and their energy. As women, we do want to move away from go-go-go, do-do-do mode. We do want to release constant pressure.

I have worked with and taught hundreds of women to step out of these unhealthy masculine patterns and reclaim a more balanced, embodied way of working and living.

There is a lot we can do at an individual level.

But one thing I know for sure: it’s a systemic issue.

Let me be clear: sustainable change cannot happen only at an individual level.

Yes, the collective is the sum of individuals. And yes, when we change individually, the system does begin to shift. But systemic pressure requires a systemic response.

Everything in this world pushes women to “be in their masculine”. Women are “in their masculine” because this is how women survive in patriarchy. From a very young age, we are rewarded for doing, performing, never resting, being of service, overriding our bodies, leading without support, and without complaint. We didn’t really have a choice. And we had no role models beyond exhausted mothers.

In relationships, how many partners truly step in and say: “Go to your meeting, I’ll take care of our child with a fever. I’ll cancel mine.” or “You are bleeding today. Stay in bed, I’ll handle everything” or “Yes, you earn less right now, but if we don’t invest in childcare, how could you ever have the time and space to earn more?”

I know a man like this. But how many women don’t?

How many women push against their bodies, work double days, and carry invisible labor , without ever questioning the system or the partner that demands it or implicitly expects it ?

The reality is that it’s much easier to “be in our feminine” (which often simply means not exhausting ourselves) when we have a partner who steps in and truly does his part. And it would be much easier to “be in our feminine” if it were completely normalized in companies to work from home when we are bleeding. To name only 2 examples.

As much as we, as women, can and have done at an individual level to move from the go-go-go-do-do-do mode, it’s ultimately about collective change. It’s creating new structures. And until those structures and the system change, asking women to “just soften” is not liberation, it’s denial.

Yes, we can create change at an individual level. Yes, coaching, therapy, and retreats are deeply supportive. But this is far more complex than that. Not everything can be healed or changed individually.

We need a collective response.

We need to heal the collective.

We need to stop trying to fix women and start fixing the system.

We need to teach women’s cycles for real in schools. Not only biologically, but spiritually and energetically. To girls and boys. We need to teach men how to sacrifice comfort and privilege for their partners’ wellbeing, not as a favor, but as shared responsibility. We need to show women that a different kind of leadership is possible.

We need to dismantle patriarchy Piece. By. Piece.

I don’t oppose the feminine to the masculine. And I don’t believe one is better than the other. These energies are equal in dignity and power. I prefer to speak of Yin and Yang, because Yin and Yang are not genders. They are universal forces of life, fundamental principles that describe how energy moves.

Women can be YANG without being “in their masculine.” They can be YANG without living in go-go-go-do-do-do mode. They can be YANG without being constantly on, without suppressing rest, emotion, or vulnerability.

Women need a healthy YIN- YANG integration. I have supported women to do this at the individual level. And now it’s time we do the YIN-YANG integration collectively, systemically.

It’s time to dismantle patriarchy, piece by piece.